July 2008
18 posts
“I’m looking for a hot retard to take to the prom.”
– Hamish, spending too much time out in the sun can lead you to say the oddest things
“Ain’t no woman like the one I’ve got, no one can love you better...”
– - The Four Tops, but I’m really sending this one out to you, yes you, Eleanor Roosevelt, dead sexy …
“Lives are like retractable pencils, if you push ‘em too hard their gonna...”
– Flight of the Conchords, still waiting ‘til January ‘09 for new episodes … so far away
Blargh Mina
Yeah, I fucked your girlfriend and she hated it. After we were done she mentioned how much better you were in the sack. And now you’re mad at me for that? That’s ridiculous. I just made you seem like that much better of a lover. You should be thanking me, so FUCKIN’ THANK ME YOU SHIT EATING MAGGOT EATER.
All right, I was just lying. I didn’t fuck your girlfriend. ...
“If you’re going to dine with the devil, make sure you bring a really long...”
– Jack Palance, representing in Cyborg 2, perhaps the closest we’ll ever come as Americans to making a perfect movie.
“Where are you going? There’s a Heath Ledger tribute after the credits.”
– Jeff Murphy, at 3 AM last night as the credits rolled for The Dark Knight, and also the reason that we should never believe his lies, he is the one, kill him.
“Was that a hooker?”
– Question that we all wondered after a girl at 2 AM last night asked if we wanted to party … hooker.
“Are you insane? That guy looks like a date rapist!”
– Brody (Jason Lee) in Mallrats, to Ben Affleck who does look like a date rapist …
“Chicks dig me, because I don’t wear underwear. And when I do it’s...”
– Bill Murray in Stripes, and my new way of life …
Seat Cooler?
So, I looked for a chair that would cool my ass in my hot as shit room … and I found it.
It’s a USB Seat Cooler chair that has a fan that sucks in surrounding air and then pushes it through the special cushion when a certain pressure has been reached which creates a cooling effect on your ass. Nice. Unfortantely, every search for actually buying the chair only came up with like 50...
Blog Again?
RicoSays: maybe you'll actually start blogging again
RicoSays: some day...
Hamish: ha, i'll start blogging again when people start respecting me, and i find a computer chair that doesn't leave me with swamp ass
RicoSays: i've got respect for ya bud, but I am not a good chair
Hamish: but can you solve my hot ass problem?
RicoSays: unfortunately not
“Every time I try to walk away, something makes me turn around and stay, and I...”
– The Eagles, and I know what turns you around Don Henley, I can tell you why, it’s that your afraid that she’ll go telling all your friends about your freakish bedroom mannerisms. Such as the rule: Minimum 4 dildos per set of anal beads on the bed at all times. Now tell us why, Don,...
I've Been Claimed
I thought this was pretty interesting so I thought I’d share. Apparently my Boyz II Men music video (if you don’t know, watch) has been copyright claimed by UMG, the Universal Music Group.
They apparently own the rights to On Bended Knee and I thought my ass was grass and they were going to sue and destroy my life just for making a video with me singing on the potty. But, no,...
“Can you still recall the time we cried? Break on through to the other side.”
– - Jim Morrison, and yes I do remember the time we cried, and it was sad Jim, real sad. :(
The Giant Eddie Murphy Head
Now, I don’t know if anyone has seen it yet, but if you’re not busy RIGHT NOW, go to Love Park in Philly and see it first hand.
That’s right folks, there is a GIANT Eddie Murphy head traveling across this strange, strange country of ours. And I know he’s got a new movie coming out where it’s something about him being in his own head, or him being a giant fat man...
“Hey, man, there’s a giant Eddie Murphy head on Colombus. Just thought you...”
– - Da Skippa to Hamish after he saw the Giant Eddie Murphy head 