September 2008
24 posts
“The cat came back the very next day …”
– Hamish, happy that his stray came back the next day, looking for some lovin’
My Stray Cat
Let me tell you a little story. Last night after coming home all sad and depressed from a sad, sad Eagles loss, I parked my car on Christian Street. I got out of my car to see a white cat with black spots eating from some plate that someone had placed outside for her. Now, usually when I see stray cats and I try to get them to come to me for petting or whatnot they run away and fast. Not this...
WatchMy Stray Cat … :(
“And then my landlord came downstairs, and with his violent angry eyes staring...”
– Hamish, in remembrance
Weekend Post Make-Up
Yeah, blow me. Sorry for no posts this week, but I will always guarantee you a Hamish update weekend post. So, here we go.
#1: Phillies
Welly, welly, welly, well. Up only one game on the Mets as we move into a 3 game series with the Nats. If we don’t win all these games, and we end up having to play a fuckin’ make-up game I’m gonna be pissed as shit. I can only promise you...
“Bring me the head of Carlos Beltran.”
– Hamish, yep he wants Beltran’s head, cause I want to go bowling with a Puerto Rican
The Weekend Post
Seems like every Friday I need to post something about this upcoming weekend. And it’s only like that because weekends have been starting to kick some major ass. It’s been chock full of nuts and goodness. Let it get started.
#1: Friday Night Party Town
Tonight there is a huge bash for 6 combined celebrated birthdays. It’s got over 100 Facebook confirmed guests. I think...
“Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever.”
– Hamish, finally realizing what listening to WMMR at work does to him, he wakes up in the morning singing these horrible modern rock songs that he doesn’t even know. Shit WMMR, why you trying to get crazy with me man, don’t you know I’m loco?
Look Behind You!
You ever been sitting around and your alone and you are constantly turning around and to the sides because you think someone is there? I do that all the time. It’s not paranoia. There is someone there, and you better be fuckin’ careful man. Cause if you don’t keep turning around looking for him, he will know. Then he will attack, like a banshee. He will come at you with so...
“I’m so gay for you it’s gross.”
– Hamish, thinking this is the new thing everyone should tell those special lady friends in their life
“I can’t take the kind of excitement from that MNF game last night. I shit...”
– Hamish, a lot of stuff comes out when we play Dallas, and I don’t really lactate
Forgetful . . .
I had something very interesting to talk about and discuss, but I totally forgot what it was. Sucks for you. I’ll just talk about something random. How about the weekend?
#1 Work:
So, at work our MRI scanner has been down since Tuesday evening, and I’ve been coming in and having to leave early. Which sounds great, but I wouldn’t get paid for those hours I don’t work. ...
“Me and Donovan we’d have Monday nights where I was the bartender or he was...”
– T.O. apparently got crunked with McNabb a lot, when asked if he did the same with Romo, he laughed and said, “I’m afraid he might grab my nutsac, he’s a girl drink drunk.”
“I won’t stop believing until it’s mathematically impossible.”
– - Hamish always believes in the Phillies, always
Slug Sex
Last night after everyone went to bed, I went outside to smoke a cigarette and I saw the craziest shit I’ll probably ever get to see in the nature world. I saw two slugs having sex. Yes I did. I couldn’t help it but to just sit there and watch it in awe. It was disgusting and revolting, but at the same time it was beautiful. I caught them creating a mucous string and just circling...
“My jaw, my forehead, my quads and my back hurt right now. And I didn’t...”
– Hamish, realizing he parties too hard, rock hard, erect rocks.
Football x2, UFC, & Baseball
Well another weekend is upon us, so soon. And this one is big, bigger than shit. And I’m so excited my nipples could cut holes through human skulls. Seriously, I’ve been practicing on pigeons. I’ll start off light.
Flag Football:
Yes, the glorious tradition of flag football season starts tomorrow for me & my team the Steamy Poo Pilers. I love getting out there and...
“You like-a the juice?”
– Rob Schneider, back when he was funny
Which Eagle Should I Root For?
So, it’s the first week of regular season football and you better be ready for some Eagles shit to fly into your mouth. I hope everyone else is feelin’ as funky as I am, all geared up for Eagles to kick some Ram ass. But, what can we expect this year? And who can we trust? This is why I’m here, and I did a little research for all of us to know which Eagle we should root for.
...
“You ever wake up in the morning with the American Bandstand theme playing over...”
– Hamish, and yes I do hate Dick Clark and his old skin
Performing the "Artemis"
Let’s get one thing straight, right off the back, I’m not having sex. Not right now. Actually I’m at the computer now, typing away another shit storm of insanity. But, I’ve been intrigued by something I saw in a movie awhile ago. Now, I’m not sure what it’s called, probably a back bridge, but it looks like this:
It’s a move that only some people can...
“Warning to all: Camel’s new Crush cigarette can cause seizures.”
– - Hamish, really warning everyone, I saw it happen
For all who don’t know, Camel’s Crush cigarette is a regular camel cigarette with this blue ball in the filter. Whenever you want while smoking it you can squeeze and pop that blue ball. From then on you are smoking a menthol. I... 