The only instrument I could really say I was talented in was the whistle pop. ...– - Hamish, Candy = Art? No, Candy > Art.
- Red Meat (8/11/09)
Well, then you’re gonna have to make 4 Purple Alaskan Thunder Fucks.– Hamish, last night, How to Find the Best Shot in a Shot Book (SoCo, Jack Daniel’s, Amaretto, Raspberry Liqueur, OJ, Pineapple Juice)
Gotta Love Muffins . . .
As I sit here in work, just finishing off a Banana Nut Muffin, which I very strategically left for myself yesterday, I need to tell you all about a beer I tasted last night. It was incredible. It was fantastic. It tasted like a SON OF A BITCHIN’ BLUEBERRY MUFFIN. A good one too. Not some run of the mill, dinky doodle little coffee shop Blueberry Muffin. I’m talking about one of...
Girl Drink Drunk
I saw this Kids in the Hall episode back in the day about this guy working at an office and he gets invited out after work with his co-workers. He’s not a big drinker, so one of them order him a big fruity looking drink. And he’s hooked. It ends with him in the supply closet blending ice and cutting fruit to create another “girl drink” to feed his addiction. Oh, poor...
I hate assholes, the people not the body part.– Hamish
Lookin' into the Future
I can’t tell what will happen in the future, and usually when you write about things that you’re attempting to do, you automatically jinx yourself. So, I quit smoking on Monday, cold turkey. And looking back on that past blog about how I’m a crazy smoking rebel, and no one can stop me makes me think that I might have killed a few people before and not remembered doing it. ...
Smokin', Smokin'! (Reblogged from 3/28/08)
Ok, yeah, I smoke cigarettes. I smoke fifty packs a day. I like it, I enjoy it. It gives me something to do. It keeps me calm when I’m feeling stressed, it gives me a break in the monotony of the day. I’m a smoker, I know it, but people around me seem to think I’m afflicted. As if, because I smoke I want people to help me stop smoking. I’m a smoker, HELP ME, I...
Michael Vick and How to Save Philadelphia
Ok, ok, ok, I’m fed up with the five billion e-mails, texts, facebook updates all involving everyone’s own opinion on the whole Michael Vick thing. I really don’t care what anyone thinks about it. Personally, I love it. But, that’s not what we’re talking about here. Because, I’m tired of it. Win, lose or draw, we have Michael Vick on the Eagles and...
Tired of Michael Vick yet? Wait til he starts the genital herpes plague through...– Hamish, Staying Away from Ron Mexico’s Previous Fucks
I find flaws in everybody. I mean look at our waitress’s canine tooth.– Kaplan, Flaw Finder Extraordinare
Mickey's Gonna Kick Some Ass
I read the most disturbing article ever today and am afraid of the repercussions that this is going to hold. Man Guilty of Groping Minnie Mouse This is bad news folks, not just that there are grandfather’s out there pinching asses and grabbing boobs on cartoon character mascots, but what this means via Mickey’s revenge. I mean, they’ve been together for like 70, 80 years. And...
Baklava and Babaganoush, I always get the two mixed up.– A little phrase made up last night in honor of our feast from Jerusalem (A new delivery place that also gave us free hummus)
So, anyway, I went to get my prescriptions filled, and I was sitting in the CVS Pharmacy waiting area. Really tiny one too, about 3 seats and a blood pressure cuff bench. And the store was pretty empty. A young 20 year old black kid comes in and grabs a magazine and sits down next to me. First I thought, this isn’t a doctor’s office, it’s a store, you just can’t sit...
Endodontry or How to Rob Gulliable People
So, as it was, I had to get a root canal today. And I went to my dentist a few weeks ago, and they couldn’t get it done. Which happens I guess, so I didn’t get to upset. But, when I realized that I’d have to see an endodontist and pay pretty much straight out of pocket, it pissed me off. So, I shopped around, and found one in Drexel Hill that seemed to be good, and also was...
What about love?– Heart, What About Love? (Their 1985 comeback single)
I’ve been trying different combos, but SoCo seems to be the best way to...– Hamish, The Art of A Pain Free Smile