Ok, yeah, I smoke cigarettes. I smoke fifty packs a day. I like it, I enjoy it. It gives me something to do. It keeps me calm when I’m feeling stressed, it gives me a break in the monotony of the day. I’m a smoker, I know it, but people around me seem to think I’m afflicted. As if, because I smoke I want people to help me stop smoking. I’m a smoker, HELP ME, I can’t control myself. I’m killing myself everyday and I just want YOU to help me stop. Please help me, I’m a useless human being who doesn’t understand what I’m doing. HELP!
Fuck you. I smoke and I want to smoke. So, suck it and fuck it assholes. If I want help, I ask for help. If I don’t want to smoke, I won’t smoke. If I have problems quitting, I’ll deal with it then. But, I’m not ready yet. My life isn’t that important yet to have a need to stop smoking. If someone doesn’t like me because I smoke, suck my ass. Unless I’m doing a family thing, or if you want my body and you don’t like smokers, I’m going to smoke. If you’re either of the two previous thing, BAM, I stop smoking. I’ve done it many, many times. A girl I was seeing before had me stop for months. Months! And I did it, I did it all for the nookie. But, as of now, I’m a smoker, just like my idol Bogie.
I wasn’t mad when they banned cigarettes from restaurants and bars. I think it’s a good idea. First of all getting engulfed by cigarette smoke while trying to eat a meal sucks assholes, it’s nice to just enjoy your food without distractions. The only good thing was enjoying a cigarette after you eat, but you can sit up and walk outside if you really need it. As for smoking at bars, well, it kind of sucks, but not totally. Did I care that my clothes smelled like smoke after bars? Nah. My clothes smell like smoke anyway. The thing that I like about it is that it gives you that break from the bar. Away from the loud music and tight places, so that you can really talk to someone one on one or to get away from the annoyingness that is the bar. It actually gives you something to do while drinking, take a walk outside. Nice, thanks lawmakers!
So, smoke if you got ‘em, or don’t smoke if you don’t. I don’t think people should be judged on their smoking status. In fact, I don’t think people should be judged at all. But, these are judging times. And if you choose to enjoy cigarettes and subtract years off your life, go for it. I’d rather enjoy cigarettes now, then make with the diarrhea in my Depends when I’m eighty-four.