Girl Drink Drunk
I saw this Kids in the Hall episode back in the day about this guy working at an office and he gets invited out after work with his co-workers. He’s not a big drinker, so one of them order him a big fruity looking drink. And he’s hooked. It ends with him in the supply closet blending ice and cutting fruit to create another “girl drink” to feed his addiction.
Oh, poor Dave Foley. Soon enough afterwards, I began my drinking career. We all start down the same road, through the Beer Gardens. And beer is so good and perfect and cheap and easy to come by. Then you move on to harder alcohol, and that’s good too. Then you’ve build up all sorts of creations you love to drink, that are considered masculine. Rum/Coke, Whiskey/Coke (Really Whiskey and anything), anything on the rocks, anything straight up (anything that is not flavored). And everything’s going great for you …
But then you are tempted by the fruit of another … a sweet delicious fruit. Some call it Love Potion. And that’s exactly what it is. Take some Hawaiian Punch, some Red Bull, and some *gasp* Three Olives Cherry Vodka, and mix it up. It tastes like a fuckin’ Starburst. Like fuckin’ Shirley Temple herself ejaculated into your mouth. But, you’re afraid, you can’t let others see you enjoying this amazingly girly drink. So you hide your passion. Until you can convince others …
So don’t be afraid “Girl Drink” Drunks are everywhere. I’ve dabbled with it myself. Shout it from the rooftops, “I LOVE FRUITY DRINKS.” Actually don’t shout it and don’t tell anybody. It’s not good for your image, people are already start to wonder about you and your life choices. Don’t feed the flames. Oh, fuck it. Feed the fuckin’ flames and enjoy your drinks. Taste is everything. BOOM!
