Weekend or Drunken Monkey Escapades
#1: Phillies
Yep, the World Series is tied up at 1-1. So EXCITING! It’d be more exciting if I actually had tickets to one of these games. And all the people I know that are going, just getting me more jealous by the minutes. I watched/listened to every game, and I get dumped on. I’m trying though to get tickets from Mayor Nutter, I know his secret (It’s SPAM!). We’ll see what happens. If I get lucky enough, I’ll be there, will bells on my nipples. Really though, this is one of the most exciting times in my life and I’m loving every minute of it. FUCKIN’ WORLD SERIES, you shitbags. DID YOU HEAR ME? Can’t wait for Jamie Moyer to throw his old balls into BJ Upton’s bitch-ass mouth! Old balls, Bruntballs, Matt Stairs homerun. Phillies up 3-1 by Monday, unless the rain comes …
#2: Sick
I was so fuckin’ sick this week, I was dead to the entire world. I fell asleep during that boring ass Jets/Oakland 4 o’clock game on Sunday and my friends were bitching and left. Then it happen, STREP. Fuckin’ got strep throat for 3 days, I couldn’t sleep more than 10 minutes without waking up, I had so many hallucinations and visions it was insane. I thought the Phillies already won game one before it happened, but they did it anyway. I thought many things, still have to wait to see if my visions came true. But, I missed 2 days of work, and I was thrown all off cue. I was so confused, where am I?
#3: Friday Night Mayhem
So my evil Landlord/friend got a free room at the Borgata on Friday night, and has invited everyone and their mother to come down. It’s looking like it’s going to be a complete mess/shitshow. Tons of booze, tons of world series anguish, and tons of dudes screaming and throwing feces around. WAIT! And somebody has gone and hired a monkey to hang out with us for 2 hours. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? IS THIS NOT THE CRAZIEST SHIT THAT HAS EVER BEEN CREATED? I can’t even contain myself for this one. I want to meet Marvin so bad.
#4: Eagles
You ever see a Falcon and an Eagle fight? Well, guess who goes home with the bleeding rectum? Yep, the Falcons. They suck and I can’t wait to watch them lose in the parking lot … wha …
#5: Mega-Tailgate Sunday
1PM Eagles game, 8PM Phillies game = Mega-Tailgate. I will be there at 7AMish, with strombolis and beer and cornhole. When everyone leaves to go in to the game. I will still be in the parking lot with a 26 inch plasma TV, a slingbox, watching the Eagles and drinking, and ordering pizzas to the Holiday Inn. Then when the game ends, people will come back out, we will continue to drink and watch the 4 o’clock Giants/Steelers game. Then continue to drink til 7ish, when people will either go to the World Series game, lucky fuckers, or go home. Well, thank God I’ve been taking a lot of Gingko Bilboa, because I need my MOTHERFUCKIN’ STAMINA this weekend. Big time. I’ll tell you all the tales on Monday …
