Keep Smiling McNeezy
I hate to be the one to vent on things. Actually, I love to be the one. Fuckin’ McNabb. You’re seriously making everyone hate you. Why? Why do you smile when you throw horrible incompletions? That is killing each and every one of the Eagles fans. We just got done with the Phillies winning it all for us. Then we come to watch our beloved Eagles play football and we’re having a tough time out there. That’s OK, I’ve come to accept the fact that we can’t win every game, and that we’re not the best underrated team in the NFL. But, when you throw a ball 5 feet over a guys head who’s wide open and then you are just smiling when the camera is on you, I want to fuckin’ kill you. I want to rip your fuckin’ lips off your face and pour so much Chunky soup down your throat that your shit looks like Bloody Bean Orzo. I mean come on, man. Show some fuckin’ passion for the game. Make us feel your pain when we’re doing bad. Make us stick behind our team. Let us have that average team, that everyone still loves and respects. You won’t give us that will you, McNeezy? You just want us to hate you and hate you until you’re traded to the Vikings and we all curse your name.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Just come out and play some football and show you care. Show that it’s not just a game for shits and giggles. Show us that we should care for what you do, and make us feel bad when you suffer. Get mad. Throw your fuckin’ helmet. Yell at people on the sidelines. Fuckin’ kick the Gatorade stand into Jon Runyan and then fist fight him to the death. Whip your giant dick out and rub it all over Akers before he goes out for field goals. DO SOMETHING. Make me love you again, not just like you.
SIDE NOTE: This whole bullshit about not knowing there is only one overtime in football makes me sick. Blow me where the fuckin’ pampers are, because if you thought the game was not over, why did you throw a fuckin’ 70 yard jump ball at the end of the game. Pretty much the stupidest thing ever if we were going to play another quarter of OT.
He’s actually only allowed to smile if he’s fro-ing his hair out.
