Weekend or Where Am I?
Look you monkey breeding assholes, I don’t know what you expect out of me. I’m lazy and I don’t usually feel like doing anything besides staring off into space and dreaming of living in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. But, for you, I will do it. Do it. DO IT.
#1: Playoff Flag Football
We actually won our first playoff game to get us into this week. Now at 8:30 AM tomorrow morning we have to wake up and possibly play 3 games. Sounds rough, but fun. And I plan on vomiting on the field, just like my fav football player Donny McNeezey.
#2: Eagles
We’re going to beat the Giants this week and show everyone why they are not the best team in football. They are merely illusions. It’s easy to pretend like you’re good in football, but to prove it, against a team that wants your blood, is difficult. So, Eli? GIVE ME THE BLOOD ELI. GIVE IT TO ME! I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!
#3: Fantasy Football Playoffs
Well, I’ve made it and am forced to play Wangaholic for a second straight week. Since I know no one really cares about my fantasy football playoffs. I’ll keep this short and sweet. Tiny cinnamon buns.
#4: Plaxico
I shot myself in the leg before. It’s rough, and embarrassing. I can only feel his pain in knowing not only did he do it. But, now everyone knows and they’re not letting him play football and they want to put him in jail. Shit. That sucks. So, I shoot myself in the leg and you take away my livelihood and my freedom? But, Ray Lewis kills someone and he’s still allowed to tackle Clinton Portis next week. WHAT THE FUCK? Don’t think I’m sticking up for Plaxico, cause I actually hate him way more than Ray Lewis. But, I think people that kill people are worse than people who shoot themselves.
“Ow, my leg!”
#5: JCVD
So, I saw the movie, JCVD. If you don’t know what it is, find out now. Anyway, I want you all to know, it’s no JCVD action movie. It’s like a French foreign film that’s actually really good and interesting. And the JCVD monologue to the camera is perhaps one of the most moving moments I’ve ever seen from Van Damme. Of course I had a bottle of Aquafina filled with straight vodka with me. But, that only enhances my own ideas of the movie into greater ones. It doesn’t spin me one way or the other on the film itself. Go see it. SEE IT.
#6: Headache
I’ve had a headache for a week, and it sucks. It doesn’t go away, but hopefully soon it will. I am suffering from PCS. Pussy cock syndrome. No, seriously. It’s not pussy cock syndrome, that doesn’t even make sense. Or maybe it does, but if it does make sense than I’m not suffering from it. And since I have PCS and this headache, I’m really tired of typing … hopefully this will end soon …
